After getting some negative feedback from my latest post, I thought it was necessary to revisit why I would write things that come off harshly. It’s interesting that when people hear a different view challenging what they believe is right, it becomes harsh and controversial. I look at it from a more optimistic view I guess. When I see a different way to think or view something I use it as an opportunity to learn something new. The worst thing I could do to myself is believe that I’m content with what I know. I like to challenge basic beliefs because I think dating and relationships have been overlooked as something we already know about and continue on towards complacency.
In the end, I only want to help people see a different side of things so that they can get out the great things possible when finding the right person. And moreover, I want to give advice to men and women so that when they meet someone they can’t go without, they are successful. I can’t imagine the loneliness a guy that has never been on a date or been with a woman must feel. It must be a helpless feeling. I don’t want those guys to feel that way. If I can give them a new mindset that changes the way they’ve been, which has produced bad results, then it’s worth the criticism.
When I give advice to women, it’s usually taken harshly because they aren’t used to hearing what guys actually think about and feel like. So, it’s not meant to sound harsh. Take it as information you didn’t know about. If it sounds outrageous, it’s probably something you didn’t want to know about how men think. Tough love.
People generally put little or no effort into learning how to “be” in a relationship or dating situation. It’s funny that guys will read a manual on how to assemble a 13,000 piece T.V. stand from IKEA (and yes, it won’t last more than 6 mo.), but when it comes to a highly complex relationship, won’t see the need to pick up any material for help. Guys generally don’t read books or study relationships (with the exception of people like me).
We live in a reality that we create based on experiences in life. Believe it or not, you see more when you begin to let that reality go a little bit and try things outside of your comfort zone. If I said go talk to women in a grocery store, the guy might push back saying that you don’t talk to women in a grocery store. That’s the reality YOU live in though. You are allowed to expand your reality to allow conversations outside of a nightclub setting or the places “acceptable” for talking to women. Try it and then tell me I’m wrong. I bet you don’t because you’re afraid of failing and having your confidence dented. I can fix that too. You control your confidence so if someone is trying to dent it, you’re the only one that can allow them to do so.
TiP:
Getting outside of your comfort zone will teach you more than you ever knew. It may teach you that your reality has been wrong for a long time. What’s the worst thing that could happen? You find out I’m right?
The best advice I’ve ever given to men and women when asked my opinion was to think about what they are going to do and do the opposite. A translation of that may go like this. A girl you like texts you and you ask your buddies what to say back. Just don’t answer until the next day or after. What’s funny is that women will read this and admit that they do this almost without thought. They are way more socially aware. At least the ones worth chasing are…
Be authentic…
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I am a bit confused on the last part, are you saying that when a girl texts you to not respond for a day or two? Or are you saying that women read right through this, and that we should reply under a normal time frame?
Okay, I’m starting to realize that writing a blog to help men and women learn what’s really happening in social situations is really hard to explain. I keep asking myself how I would ever write a book about this stuff without going past 2000 pages. The most important part about this blog is the interaction it gives you access to. Thanks for asking for clarification. And keep asking if my response isn’t clear either.
So let’s clarify what I meant for you to understand. There are two ways to look at the dynamics between a man and woman’s interaction throughout their dating lifecycle. After learning the two ways to look at it, you may have the tools to answer your own questions. The goal is to get you to the point where you say, “Ah-ha,” and can do the right thing on the fly or in the heat of the moment with a woman.
The first thing to get is that there is a big picture we need to acknowledge and understand. It’s the most critical part to get and will give you the most growth over time. It’s the part that when understood and implemented, can actually put to rest the need to proactively look for women. It will actually recruit amazing women on your behalf. It’s a characteristic that you have even if you haven’t brought it out of yourself. I can label it as charisma, personality or confidence, depending on your comfortability with each trait you believe you possess.
Rate yourself in these areas to help me understand you better (Scale 1-10, 10 being very strong):
Starting conversations with new people?
Sharing your feelings with women?
Giving your opinion to strangers?
Complimenting women?
Asking a woman on a date or to a social event?
The deal is, if you start to focus on the tricks or rules to getting women, you’ll never really get to the highest level of attractiveness. In fact, you’ll cheat yourself out of a chance to live your way always using someone elses ideas. I call those tricks tactical illustrations. They are the product of the big picture thinking that must come first. The reason I use them is that they are easy to relate to and help illustrate the big picture idea I’m explaining.
The advice I gave in referrence to getting out of your comfort zone was a tactical idea. An idea that I used to help explain in relatable terms how to act differently than a typical guy. By acting differently than a typical guy, you give yourself the opportunity to stand out. The big idea I wanted you to understand was to test new boundaries by doing the opposite of what you usually do. Maybe a more relatable example for you would have been to disagree with a woman you are having a conversation with and explain why you think she’s wrong. Most guys listen and give her the nod hoping that if they do, they’ll have a better shot. Wrong. It’s not about improving YOUR odds. It’s about getting to a place where she meets you and knows you’re something she’ll need to be on her best game to get a chance with.
Authentically,
HitcH
Hitch, sorry for the late response as I hadn’t realied that you started hitchouston.com, and I was waiting for response and updates from the original URL.
In reference to the 5 questions that you asked me to rank, here they are.
1.) 10
2.) 8
3.) 7
4.) 10
5.) 2
Thanks!
I want to thank the blogger very much not only for this post but also for his all previous efforts. I found http://www.hitchouston.com to be very interesting. I will be coming back to http://www.hitchouston.com for more information.
John,
How is the dating scene going for you? I’m still getting back to everyone that has written me but wanted to follow up with you. Fill me in. Stay tuned for future posts. I’m going more tactical and giving people the actual “what do I say” answers in my future posts. Also, please spread the word if you like what I’m saying. I always appreciate followers.
HitcH
The real answer is to do exactly what you want to do when you want to do it. As long as you’re very very very confident about the reasons. If I were to text back really soon, it would only be to start some type of banter with the girl to show them that I enjoy being playful. Nothing too serious because I would want the girl to realize that I’m evaluating her just as much as she’s evaluating me. I would say things like, “Hey, I know we just met but my mom wants to know your shirt size so she can finish knitting the sweater she started….” It’s ridiculous but playful and comes off as such. It’s over the top to the point where it couldn’t be misconstrued as serious. And if it was, I’d be really questioning her perception of me. Does this make sense? If not, it sums up to the fact that you have to just be you. Don’t game it one bit. Keep it interesting though.