The sooner you get over yourself, the sooner you enter your own reality. This post is in response to a question I received about why guys feel so ruptured when the girl they’re dating decides she doesn’t want to continue dating.
First of all, if you are actively participating in the content of my blog, this will never happen. When you have control in your life, you have control with relationships as well. Being out of control with women or men all the time is a simple manifestation of the control you have over your own life. But, if this is you, you’re still in the “typical dude/chick” mindset. Maybe this analogy will help…
Right now, I want you to go out and buy a lawn mower from Home Depot. A really nice one! Like spend no less than $3,000 dollars on that thing! I’m telling you, GO! I don’t care what YOU want or need. Home Depot needs to sell expensive lawn mowers. The fact that you may not be in a place to need a lawn mower but having to buy one anyway is much like what you’re telling me. To clarify, understanding and accepting the fact that you won’t always meet someone ready to have you at this moment is part of the deal. The only certainty comes after the fact. Only after the fact, will you know that the woman wasn’t ready for you when you wanted her to be. It’s selfish to assume that every woman should drop what they’re doing to accept you. Women have a lot going on these days and aren’t always in the right place when you meet them. Accept the fact that you could meet a woman somewhere that IS attracted to you. That’s why the underlying problem you must address is to know where you are. If you’re in a place where you only want to have fun and date around, then do it and be honest about it. Women are no different. You could go out with a woman that thinks you’re an awesome guy but also realizes that she needs to meet more awesome guys before realizing your true value. It’s a timing thing.
You’ll always hear people say that, “Timing is everything…blah.” I agree, just not in the sense it’s normally used. Timing comes in when you are ready to settle down in a relationship. It’s important that the other person is in the same place. It’s a recipe for disaster when you try to pull someone into your world before they can truly appreciate being there. The best guys have a world around them that people are standing in line to gain access to. If you’re ready for a relationship, then require the same criteria in a potential other. This is minimal mandatory criteria if you ask me. As long as you’re honest and confident with your criteria you’ll find that it (your quiet confidence) infiltrates the women around you and makes them want you all to themselves. If that’s not clear, I’ll continue (sigh)…
Still don’t get it? The reality you’re dwelling on that eats your confidence and sense of security for breakfast every morning is just as ludicrous logically as my request that you go buy a $3,000 dollar lawn mower when I want you to. If you went and bought a lawn mower because it was good for me, what would you be left with for your money? Nothing!
Having the expectation that you will always be calling the shots is a little self-serving don’t you think? Maybe you need to learn your lesson and have some women that don’t really care about you stick it out until you say it’s okay to leave thus allowing you to feel in control. Would that be better? Probably not!
What you’ll learn by reading my content is that being ultra accepting and understanding is a masculine and very attractive trait for a man to possess. Women too! Guys, how many times have you broken it off with a woman and she’s completely cool with your decision? If this HAS happened, great! And can you imagine having a completely mature conversation with a woman about your waning interests to which she understands and respects? I know I’d be thinking, “OMG, is this chick real?!”
If you’re dating a woman who decides you’re not the cut of meat she prefers, be mature when she makes it known. Believe me, if you truly accept what she’s saying (either verbally or non-verbally), only two things can happen.
1) She is attracted to your strength and maturity, thus leading to late night booty calls.
2) She’s just as mature and agrees to maintain a friendship with you because you’re an awesome guy.
The nice thing about the second option is that unless she only hangs out with dudes, she’ll introduce you to her network of similarly attractive ladies looking for someone just like you. And you may find that some of those ladies are even better than her.
Remember to maintain confidence, maturity, strength and sincerity and you’ll worry no more about a woman that wanted to move on. In order to find the perfect 10, you’ll want to make sure she’s as in to you as you are her. Get over yourself and keep in mind my favorite line. Some will, some won’t, so what, someone’s waiting…
Authentically,
HitcH
www.HitcHouston.com
